Yesterday, Friday 14th, my team mates in the Leadership Programme 112 organised a WOW Day for the children of Mindsville (http://www.minds.org.sg/AboutUs.html) . We volunteered to create fun, love, trust, enjoyment for the children who have intellectual disability.
It was an amazing experience as the children from Mindsville created clay moulding art, did pastel painting, dressed up and took Polaroids. A few even came up to do the Hokey Pokey dance and sing Christmas Carols with us. To see the many smiles of the children and wanting us to hold their hands and dance and sing, was simply amazing!
I had an amazing time singing, dancing and interacting with the volunteers, children and my fantastic team mates.
Yesterday I sent April off from the airport as she was going to Prague and Vienna for the 13th International Choir Competition of Advent and Christmas music. As she was there with all her choir members, I realise how grown up she had been. I’m concerned about her health and how she would be there, worried that she’ll forget something or she’ll fall sick. I wish that I could go with her and take care of her.
I can only pray that God watches over her. God, watch over her and keep her safe and healthy.
She is so fortunate to be able to travel to such places such as Prague for choir competitions. I never had that opportunity when I was her age!
After I had sent her off, I managed to get a lift from V, my ex-spouse and we chatted about the girls. Should I bring the girls back for the weekend? He thinks I cannot cope with them staying with me. Am I really? I’m not going to belief that. I’ll do my best. Will I just allow them to stay with their grandaunt till they are in JC? His concern is whether it is good for the girls. That I cannot give April stability. Sigh. If I don’t try, I won’t know. God help me. Give me faith to do it and do it for you Lord.
This afternoon I did my community service. I visited 85-year-old Mr Tan who is too weak to even walk out of the house. He was stronger earlier this year before he was admitted to the hospital.
Seeing him so frail and like a skeleton, really saddens me.
Would my life be like that? Would I die so sickly and worried about burdening others?
Do you ever had a day were you forgot what day it was and promised a deadline?
Well, I forgot what day it was yesterday and promised to complete the minutes of a meeting which I realised this morning I was unable to complete as I had many appointments today and couldn’t get it done
To cut the long story short, I couldn’t meet the deadline and my buddy helped me. I’ve taken my buddy for granted to help me.
I should have been more aware of days and dates and be responsible. Ok. I’m imperfect and such mistakes should not be done. It’s popping up in my life.
I’ve allowed circumstances to dictate my actions. I need to shift. What’s next?… …
Yesterday I went to the CPF Board and found out that my Ordinary Account had no funds to pay for the mortgage for my flat.
I was devastated. I finally realise how I struggled to upkeep the flat. Would I be able to continue having a roof over my head?
I always assumed that there’ll always be sufficient funds and now as a single mother, I can’t even finance the mortgage completely via cpf.
I felt panic and fear, being close to tears. With credit card debt, insurance to pay and now my housing mortgage, I felt that the world is crashing down on me. It nearly paralysed me to inaction and denial.
Pray. Unkept praying and prayed for help to resolve this.
God, please help me. I depend on your grace, mercy, love and providence to overcome these problems. Please send someone or money to cover all these debt. I trust you, God.
I bought G3 Super Juice for April, my daughter. I was authentic and sincere when I was with her. I shared with her that the juice would help her sensitive skin and her eyesight and boost her immune system before she goes to Prague. She has been studying hard and straining her eyes.
I said that the last time she was overseas for her geography trip with her classmates, she was sick and I was worried so this time I’d want to boost her immune system and her sensitive skin before her trip to Prague with her school choir.
She even asked me about what I had brought in my paper bag. I shared with her the benefits of the body wash and hair conditioner.
The amazing thing is SHE ASKED! She never use to ask me anything!
Knowing she wants to be a dentist, I gave her the AP24 toothpaste that has special surfactant that repels bacteria on the teeth.
She’s surprised. I showed concern for her health sincerely.
Her smile and eye contact shows that we connected :-)
I was vulnerable n passionate about making her life better.
It’s doing something different!
I feel so happy! God is good!
I realised that when I became a single parent, I did not even think of seeking help. I should have. I would not have then even thought of ending my life then when I was emotionally very distraught at that time trying to cope with the divorce if I had support. I thank God that I had my aunt, good friends like J and M who were there for me.